There have always been a lot of men in my life. No, I don't have seven brothers or three illegitimate fathers, quite the opposite. I grew up with two much older sisters who used to pretend I was there barbie doll. They were the ones who named me (at 5 and 7 years old), dressed me up in girlie things like button up sweaters and put bows in my hair (which was weird because I had a bowl cut, I really just looked like a gender confused boy). It's a wonder I was drawn to man-friends ever since eighth grade. This was after I started developing real confidence due to my freakish statue-of-liberty height. (Thanks Mom ;]). Since befriending my first real guy friend in middle school and having about a million and one others since then, I've come to learn a thing or two about the 'Other Species'. So it was when I spotted the most desperate boy I have ever seen try to basically propose to this lovely girl sitting next to me on the bus, I decided to blog about it. This kid was sitting behind me and I couldn't see him, but the second this tall brunette chick sat down next to me I could literally feel the heat from his face beaming of joy from seeing her. He immediately started by greeting her with the ever so charming "HEY, how have you been? What are you up to? Has your week been as crazy as mine has? Where are you working? Whats up???", without giving her a chance to breath. Luckily, I was reading a Chelsea Handler book so every time I started laughing at this kid, it wasn't plainly obvious. She started talking about her work and I swear every word this girl said was repeated back to her by this ever so adoring groupie. You could tell he was desperately trying to come off as a great listener and to be honest, I don't think there was a person on the bus not listening to what was going on. He continued on asking a million and one pointless questions in order to keep the conversation going, all the while her neck is probably breaking from having to sit half way turned around talking to Mr. Unnaturally Agreeable on a bumpy bus ride. Then, he did the daring, he asked her about her boyfriend. She went on about how supportive she was of her guy's education choices and that even though they hadn't been dating that long it was wonderful because they had known each other forever. After a lot of nodding and agreements he paused for 30 seconds and said.. "Well, That's great! I bet you guys.. will really make it. I really do! And.. if you don't.. I.. uh.. I'm terribly sorry!" This was my breaking point, I broke into hysterics and caught her looking at me as if asking for mercy. I buried my head in my book and pretended Chelsea Handler was telling me the funniest story of my life. That poor guy went on and on until we all departed from the bus.. I'm pretty sure he walked he tried to walk her back to her dorm or to Crate and Barrel to ask her what kind of China patterns she liked.. you know.. just in case it didn't work out with her boyfriend. What a fantastic transportation experience.
Poor sap.
All for now,
MW
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